Our elite team of doctors couldn't wait until 2040 to drop these stickers...... or the new virus! Coming in the winter of '27 we will be releasing our prototype Sars COVID-40 virus into select households.

Don't be afraid.

There is no vaccine or annoying medical interventions needed to maintain your health or the health of those around you.  There is one preventative measure that we are excited to tell you about. 

We will be offering a subscription based antiviral service. For a small fee of $9.99 you can be assured, the virus won't be released into your outdoor air conditioning unit. We will also be offering Domestic Partnership and Civil Union packages starting at $15.99 for dual income/no kids (DINKs) households.  

This small fee ensures the safety of those around you, and guarantees protection from the ritual slaughter. Most importantly, subscribing will automatically post to your social media accounts, letting other people know that you are a HERO. 

If you are married (and consider yourself so), have children, or want to have children, the CDC unfortunately denied our permit for family plans. Best of luck.